im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
