You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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