ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
