Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
