Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
