Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i out mim tonsoeep
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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