what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
