did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
