Pappa wants mamma naked
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
