no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
