turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize