I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Two words: nipple clamps
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