How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
