in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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