I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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