So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
