Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Even my vagina gasped.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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