if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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