I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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