i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
