But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
