i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
