And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
