people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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