he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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