I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
