that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
