I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
