You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
wow bdsm is so cute
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