Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
