I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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