I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
