Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize