Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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