yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
