I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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