just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
