I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
