some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
