Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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