I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
