I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Success! We fucked roommates!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
