Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
