i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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