i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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