okay pat passed out under dana's car
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
