wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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