started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
