That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
