...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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