bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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