Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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