After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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