Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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