fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
How's work?
Spinning.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
