That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
