if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize