We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
