Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
